


Relenting Optimism

by TigerLily1818



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018), Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 18:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15321807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigerLily1818/pseuds/TigerLily1818
Summary: A few months in the Quantum Realm can change a person, Janet Van Dyne knows this, Ava knows this, and now Scott Lang knows this. After Scott Lang is finally rescued from the Quantum Realm, Hope and his family have to accept that he's been changed by the experience, and must help him move forward. *Post Ant-Man and The Wasp





	Relenting Optimism

Scott liked to think he was a pretty easy going guy, in fact some would go so far as to call him, uncomfortably optimistic. He was able to find humor in most things and found no use dwelling on the negatives. Of course, there were moments where he couldn’t retain his sunny disposition.

  
When he was arrested the first and second time, and he feared losing his daughter forever. When Hope and Hank rightfully cut ties from him after his impromptu trip to Germany, and went on the run because of him. Or god forbid, whenever Cassie fell ill, or was in any sort of trouble. These were moments Scott couldn’t push past with a wise crack, and a snort of amusement. However, since getting Janet back from the Quantum Realm, and by extension Hope and Hank back into his life, he had no reason to suppress his inner 12 year old boy.

  
That was, until his com feed cut out.

  
It had been supposed to be an easy mission, if you could even call it that, one that would take five minutes top, and would end with a supply of special healing power for Ava for at least a year. The Quantum realm, having been conquered by the A(nt)-Team, a name given by Scott to the chagrin of Hank and joy of Janet, no longer posed any real threat. And Scott had been quick to volunteer to make the trip, on Ava’s behalf. He however did not plan on losing contact with the entire Pym-Van Dyne Family, and getting stuck inside the realm for an unknown amount of time.

  
The first few days, though full of panic, had gone by quickly for Scott, as he had managed to hang onto his unwavering optimism. He tried not to think of what caused the break in connection, he tried not to think about what could have happened. Instead thought about how it must be a technical error and that they would get him out soon. As time passed however Scott’s hope waned.

  
He knew they must be in trouble, or arrested, or God forbid dead. He knew that they hadn’t purposefully abandoned him in a place that could potentially drive him crazy. Though that thought had briefly crossed his mind, he swiftly dealt with it. Even if they were still mad at him, they were good people, and wouldn’t subject him to the Quantum Realm forever. Something had to have stopped them from getting him out, and even though he feared for his own existence, he also feared for theirs.

  
As weeks, or what felt like weeks passed however, he began to not only worry about them, but himself as well.

  
The Quantum Realm, while beautiful, was terrifying. Hank had said what had happened when he went in, how his memories came onto him, and everything became distorted until Janet arrived. Though Scott had managed to hold this off at first, thanks to the healing energy he had originally collected for Ava, like any medicine he grew a resistance to it, and the memories came. At first, he saw it as a blessing, after the initial vertigo, he saw good memories.

  
He found himself in the home he and Maggie had once lived in together, with a baby Cassie occupying their time. Then he was getting out of prison and enjoyed being free again. Then In the lab with Hank and Hope before Germany, listening in confusion while they talked about physics, and feeling joy when the conversation shifted into mechanical engineering. Being amused by the looks on their faces when he participated in plans, having forgotten that he had a degree in the subject. Feeling useful not just because he’s Ant-Man, but because he’s smart, and sometimes he forgets that when he’s around actual geniuses. But those memories went by to quickly and soon came the bad.

  
When he was arrested, and dragged out of his home, a horrified Maggie holding back a crying Cassie in the doorway as the neighbors watched from the street. Hearing nothing from his family for months until the moment Maggie sent the divorce papers. His first prison fight, if you could call it that, when a couple of inmates beat him up in the yard because of “his mouth”. Getting caught in Germany and finding out he was on the wrong side. Maggie and Jim visiting him for the first time while on house arrest, no Cassie with them, just disappointment. When he found out Hank and Hope had to go on the run. Every moment he disappointed his daughter or Hope, or his family.  
All of it playing on a loop with no break, no reprieve, the good memories never returned. The Quantum Realm was trying to break him, and for a while it succeeded. He had tried killing himself, he had tried getting eaten by the giant bacteria floating around him. Tried to take off his mask and suffocate, only to realize he could still breath, tried dying. But there was no end, not for him.

  
It’s been an eternity, and Scott, knows his name, he knows he loves his daughter Cassie, he knows he can’t die. But he’s optimism is gone, he watches the memories, and doesn’t feel sad, or anguished, but numb. They are always playing, but he knows now they are just in his mind and he can shift them to the side. He can view the realm around him, and walk and see things other then the memories, but they are always there. He feels the loop begin again, he feels it resetting and resigns himself to watching his failures all over again.

  
Until he hears a buzzing.

  
A while ago, Scott had made a camp within the Quantum Realm, a place of rest, though he can’t sleep. He keeps his few possessions there, the canister he came in with, some energy he’s managed to compact, and the Ant-Man suit. He decided a while ago to not wear the suit, it makes him feel claustrophobic, and getting the weight off his body offered some relief. He found out ages ago he doesn’t need it to live. Usually, it lays quiet but now a small buzzing fills the air around it, breaking the usual silence, as it changes in pitch and duration. Swiftly he walks to it, and can almost hear voices the closer he gets, but that can’t be possible, not now, not after so long. He picks up his helmet and places it on his head. Immediately the sound sharpens.

  
“Scott! Scott! Damnit Scott are you there, can you hear me?”… “Come on Lang answer, I know it’s been awhile but we’re here, we can get you out, can you hear us? We can get you out!”

  
“Hope?” His voice sounds small, and unfamiliar. He hasn’t used it in so long, he hasn’t had a reason to till now. He knows the voice though, his memories are clear, and the voices of Hope and Hank have never left his mind. Usually they’re angry, now they sound concerned. Everything goes quiet when he speaks, and he panics worried that he’s finally lost it, and that they’re not there. “Hope are you there?” He knows he sounds desperate, he doesn’t care. A relieved sort of strangled laugh erupts around him, and he can breathe again.

  
“Jesus Scott I’m here, your OK, fuck you’re ok. Are you hurt, is everything alright?” Hope doesn’t curse a lot, she yells but she doesn’t curse, for the first time in awhile he allows a small smile to come onto his face. It quickly vanishes though, he wonders why now, where they have been, is this really happening, or is it a trick?

  
“I’m not hurt.” There is silence again, and he can tell they can hear what he hasn’t said. He’s not hurt, but he’s not ok.

  
“Scott we’re going to get you out, ok, everything’s hooked up. Dad’s typing in the numbers, and we’re going to pull you out.” A new voice fills the helmet, it takes a moment, but he recognizes it has Janet.

  
“Scott” She says his name gentle, like she’s afraid of scaring him, he appreciates it, he loves Hope but she’s so loud. “Scott honey, if you’re not already, we’re going to need you to put on your suit to get you out.” Briefly he can hear Hope ask why he wouldn’t have his suit on, but he cuts her off.

  
“Ok, give me a minute.” It’s silent again, and he can almost see the concerned glances the three must be sharing but he’s not too worried about. Despite his initial happiness, he still feels numb, after all this time he can’t actually be leaving, something will go wrong. But regardless he puts on the suit, and gathers the cannister. Remembering his initial mission, he gathers some energy, once done he speaks again, only now realizing they had been quiet the whole time. “Are you still there?” He knows he sounds scared, and he can tell by the sharp intake of breath that Hope wasn’t expecting that. Janet’s voice comes back, still soft, but sad.

  
“We’re here Scott, are you ready?” He mumbles yes and waits. He hears them talking to one another, he hears them turning things on, and then he hears them begin to count down. He waits for them to be cut off again, but they aren’t, when they hit one he feels his body pulling upwards, and the scenery around him changes, evolves, until it stops.  
The first thing he notices, is it’s bright, to bright, he has to close his eyes because the sun hurts so much. Then he feels air, the breeze, the gravity, how it ripples and exists, he also notices the noise. Cars honking, birds chirping, the sounds of a train, the sounds of the world. But no voices. Opening his eye’s, he sees the three of them, staring at him, waiting for him to do something. To make a joke, to greet them, to hug them. But he just watches, and they watch back. First, he looks at Janet, and she looks so sad, but she seems to know, to understand him, to sympathize. She was in there so long, she had hope, then lost it, then gained it back, she knows he hasn’t reached that third step yet. Hank is next to her, and he looks surprised, Scott can tell he’s wondering why he hasn’t spoken, why he’s so still. Hank takes a step forward, but Janet stops him, Scotts never felt more grateful.

  
Then he see’s Hope, she’s so close to him, he knows she could touch him if she wanted to, but she doesn’t, she looks afraid and unsure, it’s not a look he’s used to seeing on her. She’s been watching him, as he’s taken in his surroundings. And he wonders what he must look like, his helmets on, but the face is down, and he wonders what she sees. When their eyes connect the tension breaks and Hope flies at him, clinging onto his back. He thinks he’s going to cry but he doesn’t, and his hands lay limp at his side, unsure of what to do. He hasn’t touched someone in so long, or been touch, and it’s almost too much. He loves Hope but wishes she’d let go, he can’t tell her that, but Janet can.

“Hope, honey, you may want to give Scott some room to breathe.” It’s then Hope seems to realize he hasn’t touched her, and let’s go almost immediately, a guilty look on her face.

  
“Sorry.” He feels bad that she feels bad, but isn’t sure what to do about it, so he shrugs in a way he hopes conveys that he’s not mad. But the movement just makes her sadder, and she turns to her Mother looking for some kind answers. “What’s wrong with him?” Scott knows he should be offended that she’s talking about him like he’s not there, but he isn’t. Janet doesn’t stop looking at him but answers her daughter.

  
“The Quantum Realm isn’t a good place to get lost Hope. It’s been months that he’s been stuck there, but time has no meaning. For him it’s been an eternity, an eternity of sadness.” Janet addresses him “Have you been stuck? With the memories, those are the hardest to escape.” Everyone looks at him waiting, and he nods, relieved that she knows, without him having to say it. Janet turns back to Hope, “There are phases in the Quantum Realm, some good some bad, but all are designed to mess with your head. The first few are the worse, once you get past them it gets better, but he didn’t have the chance, so for him it’s been an eternity of torture.” He appreciates her explaining this but hates the look that comes on Hopes and Hanks face because of it.

“It wasn’t that bad.” His voice sounds as weak as it did before, which doesn’t help his defense, and he knows Janet knows he’s lying.

“Then why weren’t you wearing your suit?” He looks away, how can he tell her he gave up hope, how can he say he wanted to die? That he tried to die. Luckily, they seem to understand, and he tries to ignore the looks of pity Hank and Hope are sending him. “It’s ok Scott, I’m not judging you, you’ve been through a lot, a lot that you shouldn’t have gone through.” He looks back at them again, he see’s a look of guilt on all of them. For the first time in a long time he feels something. He feels anger.

“What happened.”

 

**BREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREABREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAK**

 

When Hope opens her eyes, she feels relief. It’s not every day that you watch your family and yourself dissolve into dust. And she’s happy she’s not dead, which is what she had feared, but with the realization she is alive comes a different type of fear. A fear for Scott.

  
As she felt herself breaking up, she could only think of what would happen to the man if she couldn’t get him out. If she died he was trapped, and she couldn’t let that happen, but she did. Granted she’s not dead, but she also knows she’s not where she was before. She knows she on Earth, hell she knows she’s on top of the building they had parked at to open the portal. But she also knows that something is different, because everything is flipped. Everything feels slightly off. Before she can investigate further she notices the walkie she was using to talk to Scott hanging limply in front of her and in a panic she picks it up.

  
“Scott? Scott can you hear me? Are you there?” Her heart sinks when there is no reply. Turning around she see’s her Mother and Father holding one another, looking around in confusion, meeting her eye’s they grab onto her in relief. She however feels none. “Somethings wrong, Scott won’t pick up, he’s not there.” Her Mother takes a step back and looks at their surroundings before turning back to her daughter.

  
“Honey, I think the real issue is, we’re not there.”

  
It takes months, months of learning that they are in some sort of alternate dimension, because of an Alien named Thanos. Months of what’s left of the Avengers; Black Panther, Falcon, Scarlett Witch, informing them that they were the half of the population Thanos “killed”, but it didn’t work out exactly how he planned. Months of trying to get back, of wondering how Scott is, if he’s alright, hoping he got out, scared that he didn’t. They find Maggie in this strange world and learn that Jim and Cassie are still on the right Earth. They live and prepare, prepare for when, not if, they get back.

  
Janet tells them what to expect if Scotts still in the Quantum Realm, but they shrug off her words. Scott will be affected by his time trapped, no doubt about it, but it’s also Scott Lang. The man that acts like a cross between a pre-teen and a puppy, the man that’s infuriatingly optimistic. Hank and Hope worry about his body, but not his mind. Only Maggie takes Janet’s warning to heart, knowing the man through good times and bad, has shown her that though few things can break Scott Lang, he is not invincible.

  
Finally, they get home. One moment they are eating dinner together, talking about unimportant things. The next they are standing were they had disappeared months ago, the walkie hanging from the machine, and the world righted. Immediately Hope grabs the walkie, and starts talking in it, but stops when Hank informs her that equipment is not on. It takes time, they had been gone for months, but eventually a small buzz comes from the machine and Hank gives the go ahead.

  
“Scott?..... Scott?” They wait a moment but hear nothing, something drops in Hopes' stomach and she feels terrified. They had always talked about what would happen when they got Scott out but what if it was to late? “Damnit Scott are you there, can you hear me?” Still nothing, Hope looks to her Father for reassurance or help, something that could fix this. Hank takes the Walkie from her and talks into it, he sounds angry, but Hope can see the fear in his eyes. She knows that despite his gruff attitude towards the man, Hank loves Scott more then he’d care to admit.

  
“Come on Lang answer, I know it’s been awhile but we’re here, we can get you out” There’s still nothing and Hank, frustrated, continues. “Can you hear us? We can get you out!” There is a shuffling noise, and for a moment none of them dare to breathe, dare to make a sound. Until finally a quiet voice comes from the machine.

  
“Hope?” It’s soft and sounds as though it hasn’t been used in a while, but it’s unmistakably Scotts. The three laugh in relief, any doubt that Hope once had was gone. Scott was alive, he was going to be okay, they were going to get him out. Grabbing the walkie back from her Father, she struggles to contain her excitement. While she speaks, Hank moves toward the computer and begins to type furiously, determined to get Scott out.

  
“Jesus Scott I’m here, your OK, fuck you’re ok. Are you hurt, is everything alright?” The pause that follows is a little to long for comfort, but Scott's voice comes out again.

  
“I’m not hurt.” Hope feels her stomach drop once again, as Hank’s typing halts, the two look at one another in concern. They could sense what was left out from Scott's answer, the silent ‘but I’m not ok” lingers in the air between them as they take in Scotts unusually short answer. It’s then that Hope realizes that Scott hadn’t made any annoying clever quips, hadn’t sounded happy to hear them, and excited at the prospect of being rescued. It’s then that Hope realizes that something is wrong.

  
“Scott we’re going to get you out, ok, everything’s hooked up. Dad’s typing in the numbers, and we’re going to pull you out.” Janet begins moving towards Hope as she speaks and gently takes the walkie from her. There’s a look on her face that Hope can’t read, and when her Mother speaks it’s unexpecting soft, like she’s afraid of scaring him.

  
“Scott? Scott honey, if you’re not already, we’re going to need you to put on your suit to get you out.” Hope looks at her Mother likes she’s crazy, of course he would have his suit on, they have no idea what the environment of the Quantum Realm could do to a human body.

  
“Why the hell wouldn’t his suit be on-?”

  
“Ok… Give me a minute.” Hope freezes, the implications of Scott's words clicking in her brain. If Scott took off his suit, that means he was willing to endure the consequences of that action. It means that he willingly put himself in a position that could harm or even kill him. And if that was the case, that means that Scotts was ok if he was hurt, or if he died. It means that Scott, maybe actually wanted to die, which would make Scott suicidal. Which is crazy because if there was one thing Scott Lang wasn’t it was suicidal. Scott didn’t have a negative bone in his body. Her thoughts were cut off by Scott speaking once more. “Are you still there?” Never had she heard Scott more scared, and instantly she wanted to cry, to scream, to beat up Thanos for putting them in a position where Scott would ever sound like that. Ignoring her daughter's distress Janet, focused solely on Scott, attempting to comfort him.

  
“We’re here Scott. Are you ready?” a quiet sort of mumble came from the walkie and the two woman look expectantly at Hank. Who, after typing a few more things, gives them a nod, they count down and once they reach one Hank presses a button and turns to where Scott had first disappeared. For an agonizing moment, Hope thinks it didn’t work, fears that Scott will be lost to them for another 30 years like her Mother was. But then the air shifts and he’s standing there in front of them. Immediately he closes his eyes from the bright light, but all Hope can focus on is his face. He hasn’t aged but looks older, wrinkles that hadn’t been there adorn the side of his eyes and around his mouth. A beard has grown, and covers the bottom half of his face, it’s not long but specks of gray live in it. When Scott's eyes open and he looks around, she knows for certain that something has changed, the usual sparkle of joy is gone, and he looks tired, he looks empty. She forgets that however has soon as the eyes settle on her, in that moment she wants nothing more to embrace him, so she does. She holds onto him tightly, she buries her face into his chest. He still feels strong, but she can tell he’s thinner then he used to be, can tell that mixed in with the muscles bone sticks out where it hadn’t before.

  
“Hope honey you might want to give Scott some room to breathe.” It’s then that she realizes he hadn’t hugged her, that he was stiff, unusually stiff, that he hadn’t met her embrace with one of his own. Immediately she lets go and feels bad for making him more comfortable. He sees this. She apologizes but he shrugs it off as though he’s the one whose sorry. She wants to say it’s alright that, she won’t touch him again without his permission. She wants to ask what he went through, why he seems so different? But one look at him tells her that Scott is fragile, and she’s so mad because she doesn’t know how to deal with it. She’s mad at herself for not knowing how to deal with it, but instead she yells at her Mother.

  
“What’s wrong with him?” Her Mother looks sad, but unsurprised, she had warned them, but they hadn’t listened. Her Father stands next to her, looking lost, he hadn’t expected this either.

  
“The Quantum Realm isn’t a good place to get lost Hope. It’s been months that he’s been stuck there, but time has no meaning. For him it’s been eternity, an eternity of sadness.” Her Mother turns to Scott “Have you been stuck? With the memories? Those are the hardest to escape.” Hope turns to him praying he’ll say no, praying that he’ll snap out of this and laugh and say he’s ‘got them’, that this is just some sick joke. Instead he just nods, and her Mother continues “There are phases in the Quantum Realm, some good some bad, but all are designed to mess with your head. The first few are the worse, once you get past them it gets better, but he didn’t have the chance, so for him it’s been an eternity of torture.” Hope thought that the other dimension was bad, but this, this was worse. Scott had suffered because she hadn’t been there. She had put him in a dangerous place and wasn’t able to pull him out, and he was tortured within his own mind.

  
“It wasn’t that bad.” She wants to laugh, because even mentally fucked up, Scott Lang is the least selfish person she knows. But she knows he’s lying, she knows he’s different, and she can tell he doesn’t mean it. Her Mother can tell as well.

  
“They why weren’t you wearing your suit?” Janet snaps, Scott looks away in what Hope suspects is shame, and it’s all the confirmation Hope needed. Scott had tried to kill himself. “It’s ok Scott, I’m not judging you, you’ve been through a lot, a lot that you shouldn’t have gone through.” Scott turns back to them at her Mother’s words, and for the first time Hope see’s an emotion flicker behind his eyes, though it’s one she’s never seen on his face before. He’s angry.

  
“What Happened.” And so, they explain, they explain how they disintegrated, how they were sent to alternate universe, how they tried to get back but couldn’t. When they mention Maggie, something shifts on Scotts face, and he looks scared. “Cassie, is Cassie okay? What happened to her, please tell me she wasn’t alone.” Hope steps forward in what she hopes is a comforting gesture and tries not to cry when Scott flinches back.

  
“Jim and her weren’t transported, so we believe they’ve been here the whole time. We haven’t seen her though, we just got back.” It doesn’t seem to ease Scotts concern, and while she hates seeing him this scared, she’s happy that he’s starting to feel something.

  
“I have to see my daughter.”


End file.
